In De Waar

het is echt waar. waarom ben ik nog niet slapen ? in dit uur ? en morgen moet ik snel waker wordt.

En heb ik mijn huis werk nog niet gedaan. ik heb allen maar internetten n film kijken hele nacht.

wat is er met mij ??

Dilemma

what a peaceful place here. With that big mistake i made, feel like my energy has been swallowed and nothing left. Guilty is sure is the most uncomfortable feeling in this world.

i cant breath in the office nor at home, 2 places im spending my time at the most. But here, this place is always comforting me, no matter what. no one i know i should care that they will look at my face n asked 'what's wrong?'. i dont like answering that question, especially in my condition like this.

here i could think, could breath, could close my eyes. so quite here and the room is so big. i dont want to go anywhere else.

im so afraid now, im afraid ill make the same mistake again, how should i do to avoid that, to make sure it will never happen again. ive been thinking many times still i dont know the answer. i cant stand now seeing their faces, its like they r all blaming at me, pointing their finger at me, disappointing at me, i must have let them down so much.

should i let it go ? should i pack all my stuffs and get out from there ? but isnt it called running away ? i want to take responsibility but i just dont know how ?

God please help me out...